As I push mowed my lawn this weekend, I had a song stuck in my head. It's called "The Voice of Truth" by a group called Casting Crowns. The first verse goes like this:

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.

This song, in case you're wondering, is referring back to the story of Jesus' follower named Peter who was invited to step out of a boat in the middle of a sea and walk on water. Quite a feat of faith, if you ask me... even to simply get out of the boat! How many of us would even have the thought. I think the thing about Peter was that he quite often acted before he thought, and while that may also lead to rash, un-thought-out actions, in this case... the guy defied physics, at least for a few seconds.

I like how the song compares the voice of truth with all the other voices calling out to me. In the place I am in life right now, there seems to be more questions than answers. That in itself, I am coming to perceive, is one of those false voices. There are not more questions than there are answers. Some of the questions may not be relevant at all, some of the answers will come in time, and some of it... just isn't for me to know. So, as the song goes, I must choose to listen and believe the one constant: The Voice of Truth.

As I woke up this morning I had a psalm on my head that I couldn't placed, so of course, I googled it. It's from Psalm 121:

 1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
       where does my help come from?
 2 My help comes from the LORD,
       the Maker of heaven and earth.
 3 He will not let your foot slip—
       he who watches over you will not slumber;
 4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
       will neither slumber nor sleep.

Those words are just chock full of the voice of truth, aren't they? Getting your eyes off the one or two steps in front of you and looking up toward the mountains. Getting your focus off of the next few steps and seeing the bigger picture of the journey, and the destination. Reminding ourself where our help has come from in the past, and being reassured that it will continue to be that way into the future. Reminding myself who that help comes from: not a friend who's "been there, done that," a career coach, or a book... the Maker of Heaven and Earth! If God cares for me, and I believe wholeheartedly he does, I can trust that these words are true... tha the won't let my foot slip on slippery cliffs, that He's not going to take a break when I need him the most.

The Voice of Truth is telling me several things right now. Many don't have anything to do with the next few months. The first one, and I love it... is that in 2 weeks, I am going to have a daughter. I am going to have new life in my family. Guaranteed. Bank on it. It's also told me to take this past weekend off from the stress of things to come, from emails, from strategies, from considerations of the short term future. It's told me to count on my friends, to be willing to share stuff they may not even "get," not just because I want their advice, but because I need their companionship. It's told me that I need not worry. It's told me that tough decisions may truly be ahead, but that tough does not equal bad.

These are the things that the Voice of Truth is telling me, the things it is reassuring me with. It does not make fear go away, no, not in the least. In fact, it tells fear, "bring it on!" Because I know that when I am afraid, I can trust in my Father. And when I get in that habit of trusting Him, it begins to both couteract existing fears and prevent future ones from taking hold of me, even in the weak points of my life. So I choose to do that. I accept the fact that my life may change, or it may turn out much similar to what it is right now. I accept the fact that decisions made may also affect those around me, from family, to coworkers, to friends, to clients. That's fine. Because I'm not the one determining my steps. I'm looking to the mountains, listening to the Creator, who cares enough for me to send His Son to die in my place. His care for me has been proven, and I have no doubt in it.

So to me, that's what the voice of truth means. There's a little followup to the story of Peter walking on the water that I theorize about a little bit. It's from a little story told later on in the gospels, after Jesus has died on the cross and been raised from the grave. He comes to see his disciples who are out in a boat fishing again, Peter included. It goes like this:

 7Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, "It is the Lord," he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. 8The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish, for they were not far from shore, about a hundred yards.[b] 9When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread. (John 21)

My theory is this. It may or may not be true. I think Peter may have got his second chance to walk on water here. As soon as he heard that Jesus was on the beach, he took off. He didn't hesitate. He didn't check the depth of the water. He hopped out and ran to his Lord, his Friend, his Savior. Whether he walked on water is not the question here, or the point. What I think the point is, is that he didn't hesitate. His trust was finally there. He had seen Jesus "show up" for him by being raised from the dead, even after he himself gave up, abandoned Jesus, and even went so far to deny him while He was under trial.

The story of Peter is a great one of a growing faith and trust. He started out a man full of a haughty spirit and false bravery, which Jesus quickly proved empty. He ended up a pioneer of faith, trailblazing a Message that has spread around the world, and Changed. My. Life.

Irreversable Change. There's no going back. Why would I want to?

Does the journey from boyhoood to manhood need to be recognized? Or will it just happen? Do we, as fathers, brothers, mentors, and sons ourselves, need to usher boys into the life of a man?

That's the question that Raising a Modern Day Knight seeks to answer, both in concept and in deed. I'm almost done with the book, actually, but the chapter I read this morning titled "Commemorating a Transcendent Cause" really connected with me. The previous several chapters had outlined several ideas for ceremoneously bringing young men into the world of men. The point wasn't that you have to grab them on their 18th birthday or their college graduation - the point was, they need to be grabbed. Whether it's a lonely walk through the woods that is interupted by significant men in the boy's life, or a steak dinner with a father and his comrades sharing their own journeys, boys need to be welcomed into this world. It will not happen accidently. It will not happen on it's own, unless you really, really, really want to count fraternities, gangs, and the local saloon gang as your initiators.

This chapter I read today went back to the model of Jesus, and how He, the very Son of God, had a need to be initiated. It says:

The physical and emotional characteristics of human flesh were present in Jesus Christ. Scripture tells us that Jesus possessed a body (John 2:21). For this reason, He got hungry (Matthew 4:2) and thirsty (John 19:28) and grew weary (John 4:6). Jesus wept at the sadness of others (John 11:35) and prayed with loud crying (Hebrews 5:7). He was tempted as we are tempted, but without sin (Hebrews 2:18)

Jesus the man was needy. If this statement disturbs you, then you have overlooked Christ's humanity. As a man, Jesus needed to be affirmed and encouraged. Seen in this light, the Father's word [at his baptism] became profoundly significant. ... As with every man, His Father's opinion mattered. Greatly. At one of the most critical moments in his life, Jesus needed to hear a word of affirmation from His Father, a hearty word of praise that would buttress His confidence and bolster his courage.

...

Why do I see this [again, his baptism] as the preeminence event in Jesus' life? Because at His baptistm, the two most important elements in a son's life - the embrace of a transcendent cause and a father's affirmation - came together in one unforgettable, breathtaking moment.

At His baptism, Jesus Christ embraced his mission and then heard His Father say, "I'm proud of you, My Son!" The transcendent cause was blessed, affirmed, and "spiked" by the Father's vocal affirmation. If He held any doubts about His course in life, they were vangquished in that one instance. Every temptation He would encounter and all the hardships HE would endure were immediatly put into perspective. He embraced His mission, and He was affirmed by His Father, investing the moment with reverential awe.

The author concludes this with how it applies to our own lives with our sons:

I believe that one of the finest moments in any son's life is when he embrases his transcendent cause and then hears his father say, "I'm proud of you, my son!... I'm pleased with the course you've chosen in life!... You've chosen well!" What can be better than this?"

He goes on to talk about the great opportunity a father has to bless his son's life by participating in his baptism. It doesn't mean you have to dunk him or have a speach prepared... but wouldn't a public participation like that mean something beyond just sitting in the front row or manning the video recorder?

As I look back on my own life, I see all sorts of men who have brought me to be who I am today. Both for the qualities of my Father in Heaven than I have embraced, and for what I am still lacking, struggling with, or completely unaware of. When I first began to really walk this path about 3 years ago, I felt so lonely in it. My dad had recently broken ties and left. My life was full of casual friends that knew nothing about me. I was still in a relatively new marriage relationship with all sorts of baggage on both sides, much of it completely undealt with on my side, for sure. I realized I needed healing. I realized I needed to be restored, to be affirmed, but none of these people in my life could give it to me! I sought it from them, I tried to barter it and buy it from them, but they couldn't give it to me.

It was then that I had my eyes opened to the fact that the same Father that gave Jesus the affirmation He needed was the same one that could ultimately give it to me. I remember the day I pulled the 1" wide electrical cable from 3 feet below the ground through a 3 inch pipe 6 feed above the ground in the rain and mud, how I did it, and then sat down in the mud, hearing those words... "We did it," from my True Father. I remember the day I finished building the stalls in the new barn, again, seemingly alone, but truly closer to my Father than I had ever been. I remember His words, His pats on the back, and even now, the way those moments hold weight in my life as anchors that I can look back on and remember... It's true.

I now see that I have a wife I am free to love, not obligated out of duty or because that's the only way I can get love back. I have brothers who I can share anything with, not to simply "be accountable to," but because they want to be part of my life, and want me to be part of theirs. They are comrades, brothers in arms, fighting this fight of holiness and being Kingdom Outposts alongside me. I have fathers, uncles, sisters, mothers, and even sons and daughters whose ties go far beyond blood. Well. I guess I can't say that... they go far beyond "Cromer blood."

My son seems a long way off from his "journey to manhood." But even now, as he seeks to help me spread mulch, I can see the hurt in his eyes when I tell him to "stop doing that" or "you're doing it the wrong way!" He wants my affirmation already. He wants to know that I want him there. I see the same thing in some of the kids and youth I have opportunity to pour any part of my life into... they want to know that they're worth my time. And is that really all that much to ask? To give time? To make some ceremony? To tell them, "you have what it takes," and "you're worth fighting for?"

From Isaiah 50-60

For you are aware of our many rebellious deeds,
and our sins testify against us;
indeed, we are aware of our rebellious deeds;
we know our sins all too well.
…
The Lord watches and is displeased,
for there is no justice.
The Lord Intervenes
He sees there is no advocate;
he is shocked that no one intervenes.
…
Foreigners will rebuild your walls;
their kings will serve you.
Even though I struck you down in my anger,
I will restore my favor and have compassion on you.
…
The spirit of the sovereign Lord is upon me,
because the Lord has chosen me.
He has commissioned me to encourage the poor,
to help the brokenhearted,
to decree the release of captives,
and the freeing of prisoners,
…
You will be called by a new name
that the Lord himself will give you.
You will be a majestic crown in the hand of the Lord,
a royal turban in the hand of your God.
You will no longer be called, “Abandoned,”
and your land will no longer be called “Desolate.”
Indeed, you will be called “My Delight is in Her,”
and your land “Married.”